Thomas P. Grattan, Tom to all of us, is a 62 year member of Southold Fire Dept. He came up through the ranks and served as Captain of Protection from 1971 to 1972. Some of you with long memories might recall that Tom was on the Tug of War team or as being a delegate to North Fork Volunteers. In 2004 Tom became a Commissioner of the Southold Fire District, a position he has been re-elected to for the last 20 years.
Tom had a way of brightening a room when he entered. He was fast with a laugh but also commanded respect without intimidation. He had a way of making you comfortable and feel like you just made a new friend.
Fellow Commissioner Bill Witzke tells the story of when they had to fire a District employee. Three Commissioners were present but one was nominated to deliver the message while the other two remained quietly on the side. Bill stated that while it was a tough and awkward position to be in, Tom handled it in his graceful way that kept the situation from escalating.
He was a presence, he loved the fire service. It was not uncommon to find Tom in the Fire House, sometimes in the Commissioners room having a cup of coffee with Carol Miller, our Secretary, or bantering with other Fire Commissioners. Many times he’d be in a truck bay catching up with the houseman or chatting with firefighters and EMT’s returning from a call. He stopped in almost every day to check on the well being of our members and any outstanding issues of the day. Tom had a smile that embraced you; and made you feel like you were part of his family. He became a Commissioner to help and be of service; which is what he accomplished, and not for any personal gain. He carried out his position for the good of the members and the Department.
Tom was a man of great faith which he passed on to his family; and from which they are now drawing strength. He was a familiar face at St. Patrick’s Church where he was an usher for many years.
There are two things I’ve heard over and over from those who knew Tom; he was a patient man, and they never heard him complain. He seemed to take everything in stride. He and wife Dale were at a Fire District Convention at the Nevelle’, when it was announced that a snow storm was on the way. Everyone packed up and left, except for he and Dale. The electricity inevitably went out and the two of them walked around by flashlight having the place to themselves. He made it a fun event, something that he did frequently. Afterward, some of those that had left early were wishing that they had actually stayed.
If you were looking for facts about Southold, Tom was the person to seek out for answers; he was a true town historian. Ron Butkovich, a fellow Commissioner was mentored by Tom early on. He told Tom that he no longer read the local papers, because spending time with Tom was much more informative.
He knew his priorities; he was able to juggle his family, his career, his landscaping business and the Fire Department and never swayed in his resolve. He was amazingly dedicated to his family and was so incredibly proud of them. He relayed stories of them in a way that made you feel as if you knew them all. He made a point of attending the sporting and school events for his children Kim, Carolee and Tom and later his 4 Grandchildren TJ, Julia, Jessica, and Tommy, all of whom he loved to talk about and spend time with.
Tom was part of a family who was dedicated to serving their community. He remained a vital and integral District Commissioner right up until his passing. He continued to conduct the business of the Fire District from his hospital bed; until he no longer could.
Martin Luther King Jr. wrote “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands in times of challenge and controversy. The true neighbor will risk his position, his prestige, and even his life for the welfare of others. In dangerous valleys and hazardous pathways, he will lift some bruised and beaten brother to a higher and more noble life.”
Speaking with fire department members in preparation of Toms eulogy, I was struck by the gratitude and sense of honor expressed by those that were chosen to be a pallbearer or drive a truck for his funeral. That gratitude for having known him, defines the measure of THIS man.
Ron Butkovitch shared these words “Tom will be greatly missed, he was an important asset to both SFD and the Board of Commissioners. RIP Tom we will take it from here !!”